Stop Existing & Start Living: The Importance of Building a Full & Authentic Life
A Recipe For a More Fulfilling Life
There is a quote I love that seems particularly well-suited to the readership of this publication. Nineteenth-century American author John A. Shedd wrote: “A ship is safe in harbor, but that’s not what a ship is for.”
This metaphor profoundly illustrates the concept that life is for living, not merely existing.
Life is what we make it. But often, we fall into routines that leave us little or no time for anything beyond our life tasks and responsibilities. Many of us were raised to find a lucrative career path, and build a life that is safe and secure. We end up so focused on our work that we miss out on much of what makes life enjoyable and meaningful. We think we’ll start living when we have the perfect job, house, spouse, family or retirement plan...
The problem is that we’re leaving ourselves with little or no time for what makes us truly happy.
What makes us happy
In 1938, Harvard University undertook what has since become one of the world’s longest-running studies on health and happiness. For over 80 years, researchers have followed hundreds of people throughout their lives, beginning with over 250 students — including President John F. Kennedy. It has since expanded to the participants’ children and spouses, and inner-city participants from Boston. They found that the key to health and happiness lies not in wealth or possessions, but in maintaining quality relationships with family, friends and community.
...The key to health and happiness lies not in wealth or possessions…
It is the quality of our connections with family and friends — and to ourselves — that matter most in life. To create a full and enriched life, we need to look beyond our work and career, expand our social network, and engage and enjoy learning, exploring, and experiencing new things. When we build meaningful connections with people beyond our family and inner circle, we open ourselves up to discovering new and exciting possibilities … with other people, new and interesting pursuits, and the world. And we allow ourselves to grow in ways we could not otherwise have imagined.
Where and how to begin
As anyone with a busy life will tell you, what gets scheduled gets done! A great way to start living is to set an intention, and schedule time in your life devoted to the pursuit of new interests. Sports, travel, food, the arts, helping others, storytelling, crafts, gardening... whatever sparks your interest, when you make time, you will find a way to become engaged and connected.
Set sail for new horizons
When we set the intention of making time to create interest in life, we open our lives up to broader horizons, new and fulfilling relationships, and joyful experiences. By investing time and energy in yourself you become more dynamic, passionate about life, more engaged, and connected to others, and more importantly, to your authentic self. That’s not just good self-care, it’s good for your mental health.
Five ways to stop existing, and start living!
Set an intention to create more interest in your life.
Think about what has brought you joy in the past. Consider reconnecting to pursuits that once interested you, but fell away due to career or family commitments.
Prioritize time to reconnect with your fun side, and challenge yourself to do one fun thing a week.
Stay present as you make your way between destinations. Is there a new restaurant, yoga centre, or hiking trail you hadn’t noticed and you’d like to explore? Stay open to what is out there and waiting for you!
Consider joining a club, signing up for a class, or volunteering a little of your spare time to help people in your community in need.
Dr. Monica Vermani, C. Psych., Clinical Psychologist is a clinical psychologist specializing in treating trauma, stress, mood and anxiety disorders, and a well-known public speaker, teacher, author, expert commentator and mental health advocate. In over 25 years of clinical practice, Dr. Vermani has successfully treated thousands of patients through Supportive Psychotherapy, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing (EMDR), Breath~Body~Mind (BBM) practices, Mindfulness Meditation, Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR), and Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT).
Dr. Vermani is a frequent expert commentator/contributor to major TV, radio, and podcast, online and print media outlets, including Forbes Magazine, CNN Health, NBC, CTV, NewsTalk 1010, USA Wire, Psychology Today, Business Insider, InStyle Magazine, Men’s Health, Medical News Today, Parade, HUFFPOST, Martha Stewart, Health Digest, Fast Company, Oprah Daily, Yahoo!Life, and many others. Her latest book, A Deeper Wellness, conquering stress, mood anxiety, and traumas, is available in print, eBook, and audiobook worldwide on Amazon, and at drmonicavermani.com.
